


baby blue skies

by idyllichangmin (strawbbun)



Category: The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Eventual Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Heavy Angst, Multi, Nightmares, Non-Sexual Age Play, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Other, Panic Attacks, Past Child Abuse, cargiver!jacob, little!younghoon, no beta we die like men, please don't sexualize age regression, this is soft™
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-06
Updated: 2019-07-04
Packaged: 2020-03-20 12:51:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18993019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strawbbun/pseuds/idyllichangmin
Summary: "That's okay. Get some sleep, alright? Hyung's here,"And Younghoon peacefully fell asleep at those words, the tugging long gone.(or)Younghoon has nightmares and Jacob just wants to see him smile again.





	1. 1 [nightmares]

**Author's Note:**

> > okay there aren't enough younghoon centric fics, so here i am, your local younghoon love bot :) this story will have heavy angst and sensitive topics, so if you can't handle it, please don't read. but don't worry, the fluff will come soon! hope you all enjoy ~~
>> 
>> (also, some of the members don't show up until later but they'll show up soon! (∪ ◡ ∪) )
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> [my younghoon instagram](https://www.instagram.com/honeyounghoon/)  
> 

Younghoon woke up in a mess of heavy breathing and sweat, shirt clinging uncomfortably to his scorching skin and blankets feeling suffocating around his slim body. He threw the sheets off of himself, the cool air doing little to nothing to calm down the heat under his skin. He felt wetness on his cheeks, reaching up to wipe his tears away. It took him a minute to process that he had another nightmare. Another reminder of what had happened to him. He felt dirty and violated, despite the lack of hands on his body, as if he was in a permanent chokehold. His quiet gasps of air filled the silence of the silent room. His hands were shaking as he climbed out of his bunk, trying to be as quiet as possible so that he doesn't wake Sunwoo and Juyeon who were sleeping peacefully.

 

Tears were still streaming down his cheeks as his mind raced. He hated this feeling. They weren't here and no one could hurt him, but he felt like a thousand eyes in the darkness were watching his every move, waiting for the right moment to pounce. He shouldn't be crying. He was a 22-year-old and here he was, sobbing in an empty hallway at 3 in the morning on a Tuesday night. He was pathetic. he still let the things that happened years ago haunt him. He was still weak.

 

He doesn't know how he found himself in front of Sangyeon and Jacob's door. He doesn't know what force in his body led him here, but there was a constant tugging in the back of his mind and his brain was foggy and his knees were weak and he needed someone. He slowly pushed the door open, hiccuping and sniffling as he shuffled towards the bunk. Both of his hyungs were sound asleep and Younghoon was tempted to just leave and let them rest. He wasn't small like the maknae line, or cute like Chanhee and Changmin, so why would they want to comfort him. He was just Younghoon.

 

"Younghoon-ah?" Jacob's sleepy voice snapped Younghoon out of his thoughts, making the younger jump a bit. The sound of his voice made the tugging even stronger as if something was playing tug-a-war with him and he just wanted to let go. "Younghoon? Are you okay? What's wrong?" Jacob was sitting up now, rubbing at his eyes to wake himself up more. 

 

It was as if something in Younghoon had snapped, and the tears came rushing back. "Jacob," Younghoon's voice was small and barely there, nothing like the normal Younghoon. The tugging was even worse. He was losing the tug-a-war. 

 

"Come here, Hoon," Jacob softly spoke and Younghoong wasted no time in obeying, sitting at the edge of the older's bottom bunk. Jacob patted the spot next to him and Younghoon crawled towards him, curling up onto Jacob's side. He was basically laying on the older's chest, the sound of his heartbeat slightly comforting to Younghoon. Jacob's delicate fingers raked through his dark hair as he held him protectively. He felt safe.

 

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Jacob practically whispered as to not disturb Younghoon. The younger shook his head, not realizing that his thumb had made its way into his mouth. It was oddly comforting in Younghoon's fragile state. "That's okay. Get some sleep, alright? Hyung's here,"

 

And Younghoon peacefully fell asleep at those words, the tugging long gone.

**⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅**

"Yeah, he didn't seem well last night. It'd be a good idea if we did. We all need the rest anyway,"

 

The sound of Jacob's voice foggily registered in Younghoon's head as he neared consciousness. The blankets around him were warm; almost too warm to be his own bed. He felt the dried tear tracks on his cheeks and everything came rushing back to him at full speed. The nightmare, the tugging, _Jacob_. He couldn't piece everything together, but maybe it was better that way.

 

"You should wake him up soon. Kevin said that breakfast is almost ready," he heard his leader say before his footsteps retreated out of the room. He listened to the way Jacob sighed before he felt the bed dip. The older softly ran his finger's through Younghoon's thick locks, thumb brushing his cheek.

 

"Hoonie," Jacob cautiously spoke, coaxing Younghoon awake. Younghoon slowly blinked his eyes opening, looking up to see Jacob smiling down at him with an unreadable look in his eyes. Younghoon's words tumbled out of his mouth before he could process them himself.

 

"I'm sorry for waking you up last night," his voice was embarrassingly hoarse from crying, but Jacob didn't seem to mind. He only smiled a bit, brushing Younghoon's hair out of his eyes.

 

"Don't apologize. Just know that we can talk whenever you're ready, okay?" Younghoon nodded compromisingly and Jacob patted his head in return. "Now, let's go eat,"

**⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅**

Younghoon sat in his bed, the clock read 3 a.m. He already missed the warmth and comfort of Jacob's hold, but he didn't want to seem clingy. He wanted to tell his members what was going on, but he didn't think that he was ready to be that open and vulnerable. He didn't want to seem weak because he knew that he was.

 

"Hyung, go to sleep. We have heavy schedules tomorrow," Sunwoo's voice sounded, Juyeon already dead asleep in the bunk below him. Younghoon sighed, a bit confused as to how Sunwoo knew that he was awake. "You're thinking too loud. I can hear it from here," There was his answer. He sighed again, pulling the blankets over him, evening out his breathing until sleep eventually pulled him under.

 

It seemed almost like deja vu when Younghoon woke up not long after in a heap of sweaty palms and ragged breathing. He could feel the hands on his neck squeeze tighter and tighter with each breath he took. His sobs were muffled by his own ears as he felt the nails drag across his flesh. He felt as if he was drowning. Is this what dying felt like? He didn't want to die.

 

He tried to remind himself that they weren't here and no one could hurt him. But then he saw himself back in his 5-year-old body and everything felt so _real_ and he couldn't decipher what was fantasy or reality. It wouldn't stop. It won't stop. He's not safe. He's not safe. He not-

 

"Shh, Younghoon. You're okay. It's not real. Hyung's here. You're safe," the same soothing voice crept into his senses as if it came to fight off all of the bad thoughts in his mind.

 

"H-Hyung," Younghoon choked out, throwing himself into his hyung's arms, sobbing heavily into his chest. He felt his hyung pull him closer, pressing light kisses into his head, shushing and rocking him. Younghoon held on like Jacob was his lifeline. 

 

"Calm down, Hoon. I'm not going anywhere, baby," Jacob whispered, rubbing Younghoon's back. The younger nodded, trying his best to slow his breathing. He was safe.

 

"Is he gonna be okay, hyung?" a quiet voice asked from the doorway, Younghoon unaware of the 5 other members he'd awoken by his screams. 

 

"I don't know," Jacob answered truthfully, holding Younghoon tighter. "Go back to sleep guys. We have to wake up early tomorrow. Sunwoo, Juyeon, you guys can sleep in my bed," Some members seemed hesitant to leave, but eventually gave in to their own tiredness, silently retreating back to their rooms. Jacob helped Younghoon lay back down before he wrapped the younger in his arms. Younghoon's chest burned from his hyperventilating, but his tears had slowed and his hyung's warmth brought him back to reality. 

 

It didn't take long for Younghoon to drift off back to sleep. Jacob could tell that his nightmares were draining him physically and mentally. The bags under his eyes were prominent against his pale skin. His cheeks were red from his tears and Jacob could _hear_ his heartbreak. He wanted Younghoon to open up to him, but the younger always kept his problems to himself. Jacob was willing to give him time, though. For now, he'd be here to hum him back to sleep if his demons were to wake him again.

**⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅**

Younghoon could tell that there was a difference in the group dynamic. The members seemed to be more... cautious around him. They gave him more breaks during dance practice, made sure that he ate a lot, let him take showers first, and the skinship increased. They constantly shot him worried looks when he would sit silently for too long, or if he declined snacks. It was weird and Younghoon could decide if he liked the attention or hated it.

 

Even Jacob began acting different around him. He made sure that Younghoon went to bed on time and Younghoon had caught him checking in on him in the middle of the night. He had started calling Younghoon pet names, taking a liking to "baby". (Younghoon also couldn't decide he if he hated it or loved it. He could feel himself leaning towards the latter). 

 

Younghoon wasn't stupid. He knew it was because they knew about his nightmares. Now, he just had to figure out if he wanted it to stop or not and in reality, he really didn't want it to. He liked being babied, as weird as it sounded. He didn't know why, but he could feel the weight lifting off of his shoulders when someone would hold him during movie night, or praise him for doing the littlest things. He loved it. He just wanted to know why he did.

**⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅**

"Younghoon, can we talk?" Jacob peeked his head into Younghoon's shared room. It was just him in the room at the moment, seeing as Sunwoo was studying and Juyeon went to the company with Hyunjae and Changmin. Younghoon put his book aside as he nodded, earning a small smile from Jacob. The older slipped, inside shutting the door behind him. He had his laptop in hand as he climbed onto Younghoon's bed, sitting criss-cross in front of the younger with another unreadable look in his eye. Younghoon was a bit scared, to say the least.

 

"I'm sure you already know what I wanted to talk about," Jacob started, awkwardly playing with his fingers. Younghoon nodded, avoiding eye contact. He didn't trust his voice not to crack. "Yeah... I don't know what they're about and you don't have to tell me if you don't want to," Jacob placed a comforting hand on Younghoon's leg, and the look in the older's eyes made Younghoon want to spill everything he's been holding in. " I know that they've happened more than those two times, Younghoon."

 

Younghoon visibly tensed at that, but Jacob continued to rub circles into his skin to keep him calm. "How?" Younghoon whispered making Jacob let out a soft laugh.

 

"I'm the mom of the group. I literally know everything," Jacob smiled a bit, which made Younghoon smile too. "But on a serious note, I was looking up some ways to help with your nightmares." Younghoon's eyes lit up at those words. He wanted nothing more than for these nightmares (or were they memories?) to end.

 

"I found something called age regression," Younghoon cocked his head in confusion and Jacob smiled a bit at his cuteness. "It's when someone regresses to a younger age. Some people use it for stress relief and I thought that it might help you cope with your nightmares. I did some researched and I've noticed that you've been showing signs of regressing." Younghoon furrowed his brows at that.

 

"I have?"

 

Jacob nodded. "Y'know, sucking your thumb, losing verbal skills. I think it'd be good for you, Younghoon. Of course, you don't have to do it if you don't want to. Even if you wanted to try it, if you say you want to stop, then we'll stop. I need your full trust, Hoon. Do you trust me?"

 

Younghoon thought for a moment. Jacob did seem to have his receipts and it sounded nice. He just didn't know if he was ready to be that vulnerable to someone. This could open up new wounds that he wanted to completely forget about. Younghoon looked up from his lap to see Jacob looking at him with pure love and care and that's when he cracked.

 

"I trust you, hyung," A wide smile crossed Jacob's features as he intertwined his fingers with Younghoon's, squeezing his hand in reassurance.

 

"Are you willing to try it?" Jacob asked softly. Younghoon looked down at their hands before long back into Jacob's eyes.

 

"Yes. I want to try it."

**⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅**

The two spent the entire night researching about age regression together. It was a lot to take in, but Younghoon knew that Jacob would be there with him through it all. He saw how much thought and effort Jacob put into this. He knew how much Jacob genuinely cared for him. They agreed to order some pacifiers and coloring books to test the waters of his comfort zone. They both didn't know how young Younghoon would regress if it actually worked, so Jacob was prepared. He ordered sippy cups that Younghoon (with much persuasion) picked out and three onesies. Younghoon didn't realize how excited he had gotten while looking through all the things, clapping his hands in excitement with a wide smile on his face. Jacob loved seeing Younghoon like this.

 

"Hyung, can I pick out a plushie?" Younghoon looked at Jacob with the biggest puppy dog eyes and Jacob couldn't resist.

 

"Of course, baby. Pick anything you want." Jacob's credit card was screaming, but when Younghoon giggled a kissed Jacob on the cheek, any regret faded away. He'd do anything to make Younghoon happy.

 

Younghoon looked at all the plushies, before stopping at one. It was a bunny plushie with a cute pink nose and yellow bowtie. "Look hyung, it's you!" Jacob laughed softly, shoving Younghoon a bit making the younger laugh with him. "I want that one."

 

Jacob ruffled Younghoon's hair before adding it to the cart. "I'm so proud of you, Younghoon," 

 

Younghoon felt a warmth fill his chest as his hyung squeezed his hand. He loved this feeling and he wouldn't mind feeling like this forever. Maybe being a bit vulnerable won't be so bad.


	2. 2 [jakey the bunny]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> > time to get into the fluff woo
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> [my younghoon instagram](https://www.instagram.com/honeyounghoon/)  
> 

Younghoon was nervous. His heart was pounding, his mind was racing, and he couldn't keep still. What if this goes wrong? What if this age regression thing doesn't work? What if his nightmares never end? This was a bad idea. He shouldn't have agreed to it. He shouldn't have-

"Younghoon, calm down. It's okay. It's just a first try. Remember, if you don't want to do this, you don't have to. I'm not forcing you into anything," Jacob spoke, holding Younghoon's hand. Younghoon nodded, looking down.

"I know. I want this. I just... I'm scared," Younghoon whispered, glancing up at the Disney movie that was playing on Jacob's laptop and down at the baby blue pacifier and stuffie sitting in front of him. He couldn't deny that there was a tugging; something telling him to just let go, but he kept pushing it away.

"It's okay to be scared, but how will we know if we don't try?" Jacob softly told Younghoon, thumb brushing his knuckles comfortingly. Younghoon took a deep breath, closing his eyes for a second before reopening them. He slowly reached for the bunny stuffie, the soft fur tickling Younghoon's skin. Jacob let Younghoon get used to the stuffie, watching as he slowly untensed and began playing with the bunny silently. "What're you gonna name him?" Jacob asked in a voice that you would speak to a child in. Younghoon could feel himself being affected by it, smiling a bit as he looked at Jacob and back down at the bunny.

"I can name him anything?" Younghoon spoke in a small and quiet voice, holding the stuffie tightly as he looked at Jacob for permission.

"You can name him whatever you'd like, baby," Younghoon's eyes lit up as he looked down at the bunny and up at Jacob again.

"'M gonna name him Jakey, like you," Younghoon giggled, patting the bunny on the head. Jacob swore that his heart melted in those few seconds.

"Hi Jakey! Nice to meet you!" Jacob playfully spoke to the stuffed animal, earning another giggle from Younghoon.

"Jakey says hi," Younghoon spoke again in that small and quiet voice, but there was a small smile on his face. "Jakey wanna watch the movie wit' us. Can he pwease?"

"Of course! Jakey is welcome to every movie night," Younghoon's eyes lit up even more at those words, setting Jakey in his lap and curling up against Jacob's side on the bed. 

"Tis' is Jakey's favowit movie," Younghoon whispered, eyes completely trained on Toy Story 3. Jacob noticed the way that his speech had changed, realizing that Younghoon had really regressed. He also noticed the way that Younghoon kept glancing at the sky blue paci in front of him, his favorite color.

"Hey, Hoonie. Can you tell me how old you are right now?" Jacob asked softly. Younghoon looked down at his fingers before holding up 3 of them.

"I'm fwee," he spoke cutely before focusing back on the movie. Jacob smiled a bit, ruffling Younghoon's hair before he saw Younghoon looking longingly at the paci.

"Do you want your paci, Hoonie?"

Younghoon nibbled on his lip before looking at Jacob with glossy eyes. "Mine?"

"Yes, it yours, baby. You can have it," Jacob encouraged, handing the paci to Younghoon. 

"Tank 'ou," Younghoon smiled widely at Jacob before placing the paci in his mouth and, yep, Jacob's heart was melting again. Younghoon's eyes slowly drooped as the paci seemed to suck any tension out of his body. Jacob wanted to take a picture of how cute he looked with Jakey in his arms and his blue pacifier, but he resisted. It was their secret until Younghoon says so. "Baba, you're no watching," Younghoon whined around his pacifier, looking up at Jacob with puppy dog eyes.

Baba? He already has a nickname? Okay, part three of Jacob's heart actually melting. "I'm sorry, baby. Baba wasn't paying attention,"

"Yeah, you better pay 'tention, Baba," Younghoon furrowed his brows cutely and Jacob kissed his nose in response making Younghoon giggle. "Again!" Kiss on the nose. "Another one!" Kiss on the cheek.

And it went on like that until Jacob had covered Younghoon's face with kisses and Younghoon was a giggly mess. "Aw, baby, you're so cute,"

"Hoonie is no cute!" Younghoon spoke around his pacifier again, which just added on to his cuteness.

 

"Hoonie is the cutest!" Jacob exaggeratingly spoke before attacking Younghoon with even more kisses. Younghoon's squeals and giggles filled the entire room and that's when Jacob realized that he messed up.

 

Big time.

 

"Hyung...?" Sunwoo's voice sounded. Jacob looked up with wide eyes to see Sunwoo standing in the doorway with his school bag in hand. Jacob swore he locked the door, but apparently not. "What... What is... What are...?" Sunwoo started, trying to find the right words.

 

"Jacob..." Younghoon's voice spoke, clearly out of headspace by the way that he ripped the paci out of his mouth and let go of Jakey. Younghoon gave Jacob a 'what do we do now?" look and Jacob decided that the best option was to just tell the truth.

 

"Sunwoo, please shut the door," Jacob sighed, pausing the movie. Sunwoo complied, shut the door behind him and dropping his bag by his feet. 

 

"What is this?" Sunwoo asked, motioning towards everything. 

 

"Sit down and I'll explain," Younghoon spoke making Jacob look at him in shock. "I got it, hyung," Jacob nodded and moved away to make space for Sunwoo to sit on the somewhat cramped bunk. "Um... well, I'm sure you know that I get nightmares,"

 

Sunwoo nodded, signaling that he was following along and Younghoon spilled everything as Jacob held his hand through it. From his nightmares to find out about age regression to now. "This was only the first time though. We just wanted to test things out. It's okay if you think I'm weird and I don't blame you-"

 

"I don't think you're weird, hyung," Sunwoo spoke, voice unusually soft. "From what I saw, it seems like it helps. I'm not going to judge you or anything if that's what you think. I care about you, hyung, and I want you to be happy,"

 

Younghoon smiled before tackling Sunwoo in a hug, nearly knocking Jacob off of the bed. "Thank you, Sunwoo," Younghoon mumbled before sitting up. "Please don't tell anyone else though. I just want to try it out first and I don't want to cause too much drama right now, okay?"

 

"I promise I won't tell," Sunwoo held up his pinky and Younghoon linked it with his own. 

 

"I love you, you're the best," Younghoon smiled, nearly screaming when Sunwoo pinched his cheeks.

 

"Ah, hyung, you're so cute!" Sunwoo cooed making a brand new pout form on Younghoon's face.

 

"Exactly!" Jacob laughed making Younghoon pout even more.

 

"I'm not cute!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> > *not edited*
>> 
>> can i just say that younghoon is the actual cutest little ever oh my goodness my heart if full just by writing this (๑◕︵◕๑) and now sunwoo is added into the picture hmmmmmm what'll happen next?
>> 
>> hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and ty for reading <3
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> [my younghoon instagram](https://www.instagram.com/honeyounghoon/)  
> 


	3. 3 [forgetting something]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> > yikes sorry it took so long for an update,, school has been eating up my time,, but i'm almost done yay!! 
>> 
>> hope you all enjoy this chapter <3
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> [my younghoon instagram](https://www.instagram.com/honeyounghoon/)  
> 

Younghoon woke up with his paci in his mouth and Jakey in his arms. He could feel how well he slept, waking up without tears running down his cheeks, or gasping for air. He didn't have a nightmare. He sat up, rubbing the sleep out his eyes, trying to gain consciousness. He knew that he wasn't regressed anymore, but he felt off when he took his paci out of his mouth. It didn't feel right to be without it.

It was still a bit light out, golden streams of light peeking through the blinds. The room was empty and dark, despite Sunwoo's reading lamp that shone from the other side of the room. He could hear the members rustling about outside of his room and he felt his stomach drop. What if one of them saw him while he was sleeping? Where was Jacob? What if-?

The door slowly opened as Jacob slipped in quietly, obviously thinking that Younghoon was still asleep. He had something in his hands, but Younghoon couldn't really tell what it was due to the darkness of the room. Jacob shut the door and turned around, jumping slightly at the sight of Younghoon staring at him.

"Oh, you're awake. How are you feeling, baby?" Jacob spoke softly, making his way towards the bed after turning on the light.

"I'm not little anymore, hyung," Younghoon replied. Jacob nodded, taking a seat on the bed and handing Younghoon a plate of food.

"We're gonna have a late night practice, so eat up, okay?" Even when Yougnhoon wasn't regressed, Jacob still acted like a caregiver and Younghoon would be lying if he said that it didn't comfort him a bit. Younghoon nibbled at his food silently, not really feeling that hungry. Jacob noticed, frowning a bit, but not saying anything about it. He knew that if Younghoon needed to talk, he would.

"Hyung," Younghoon started making Jacob perk up. "Did... Did anyone else see?"

Jacob chuckled a bit. "No, I was with you the whole time. I only left to get you food because we're leaving soon,"

"Oh," was all Younghoon said.

"Did the regression help...?" Younghoon looked up at Jacob to see concern swirling in his eyes. He knew that Jacob was still worried about him. He still didn't know the full story to Younghoon's nightmares and Younghoon felt a bit guilty for not telling him. He just wasn't ready yet.

"Yeah, it did. I.. I still don't fully understand it, but I want to continue... if that's okay with you," Younghoon replied, voice quieter than he expected. Jacob smiled, placing a hand on his knee.

"I'm more than okay with it. It also helped me in a way. I... I like being your caregiver, Younghoon." Jacob felt a bit awkward saying it out loud, but it was the truth. He didn't know what it was, but it was as if he fell into a headspace too, wanting to protect Younghoon from all the bad things in the world.

"Can I regress tonight? Y'know, to help me sleep?" Younghoon shyly asked, hands nervously picking at the thread of his blanket.

"Of course, Hoonie," Jacob smiled, ruffling Younghoon's hair. This whole age regression thing was a bit dysfunctional, neither of them really knowing what they were doing, but in all honesty, Younghoon wouldn't have it any other way.

**⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅**

"Time to go, guys," Sangyeon called as everyone rushed around to find their practice bags and grab water bottles. Younghoon slung his bag over his shoulder, feeling a bit uneasy as if he had forgotten something. He stepped out of the lobby and into the cold summer night air, shivering a bit due to his thin jacket.

"You okay, Hoonie?" Jacob asked as he walked with him to the vans. The nickname made Younghoon feel as if he was still little, but he liked being called Hoonie while he was big. He felt safe.

"Yeah, I'm okay," he gave Jacob a small smile and Jacob returned it, heading off to his assigned van. Younghoon made it to his, giving his bag to the manager to put in the trunk and slipped inside the car. He still felt like he had forgotten something, but he didn't know what it was.

"I can't wait to sleep tonight," Hyunjae groaned from the backseat, earning multiple agreements and that's when it clicked. Younghoon quickly got out the car, telling the manager that he had forgotten something and rushed back to into the dorm.

He rushed into his room, eye immediately catching the object on his bed. He picked it up and slipped his paci in his pocket, leaving the dorm and heading back to the vans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> > sorry for the really short chapter today ;( don't worry, my future updates will be longer! (this is also short because i want to start drama in the next chapter woo)
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> [my younghoon instagram](https://www.instagram.com/honeyounghoon/)  
> 


	4. 4 [don't drop]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> > wow this update took f o r e v e r :( im sorry :((
>> 
>> i'm leaving for vacation soon and i hate airplanes so wish me luck! i don't know if i'll find the time to update, but we will see! 
>> 
>> hope you enjoy 

The music slowly died out, everyone collapsing in heaps on the ground out of exhaustion. Changmin walked over to the computer to turn off the music as Sunwoo plopped himself next to Younghoon, handing him a water bottle and letting the older rest his head in his lap. They had been practicing 3 hours and they still had an hour of practice left. Younghoon wanted nothing more than to just go home, shower, and regress so that he could actually get a goodnight's sleep.

Sunwoo slowly stroked his hair and Younghoon could feel himself leaning into the touch, already feeling as if he could drop right now. Younghoon didn't even notice that his thumb was in his mouth, Sunwoo quickly but gently pulling his hand away. Younghoon nearly whined in response, but Sunwoo shushed him, continuing to stroke his hair. Younghoon didn't realize that Jacob had made his way over to the two, sitting criss-cross in front of them.

"You guys okay?" Jacob asked, noticing that Younghoon seemed to be falling asleep in Sunwoo's lap.

"I... I think he's feeling little, hyung," Sunwoo whispered so that no one would hear. Jacob's eyes widened as he looked down at Younghoon who, as expected, had his thumb in his mouth once again, eyes fluttering open and shut as to not fall asleep.

"Make sure that he doesn't. I'm gonna go ask Sangyeon if we can end practice early today," Jacob spoke before getting up and heading over to the leader on the other side of the room. 

"Wait, hyung, how do I-" Sunwoo sighed, looking down at Younghoon. He had no idea how to keep Younghoon from dropping. He sighed again, lightly shaking Younghoon awake and coaxing his thumb out of his mouth. "Hyung, you can't drop right now. You can when we get home, okay? Just wait a little longer," 

Younghoon didn't like the sound of that, whining a bit louder and shaking his head. "Don't wanna wait,"

His speech was already breaking down and Jacob seemed to be having a hard time convincing Sangyeon. They still had a lot to do to prepare for KCON and didn't have much time to waste. Sunwoo huffed, looking at Jacob who glanced over at them. He gave Jacob a defeated look and the older held up a finger before going back to trying to convince the leader.

"Hoon, you have to be big right now. C'mon, Younghoon. _Please don't drop_ ," Sunwoo whispered the last part under his breath. He was almost sure that adult Younghoon didn't want the other to find out quite yet and he wanted to make sure of that.

"Tired," Younghoon simply mumbled, putting his thumb back in his mouth. Sunwoo looked around, hoping that no one was looking over here. It seemed like luck wasn't on his side. He saw Changmin look away quickly when they made eye contact. Sunwoo was about to lose his mind, but thankfully, Sangyeon announced that they were gonna cut practice short. Sunwoo was about to cry tears of joy.

"Thank you, Sunwoo," Jacob smiled, ruffling the younger's hair. Sunwoo simply smiled, letting the older help Younghoon up, the little sleepily protesting. "We're gonna go home, Hoonie. When we get home, I'll cuddle with you and Jakey," Younghoon seemed to lighten up at that, bouncing lightly in place as Sunwoo handed them their bags. "But you have to be big for now, okay?"

Younghoon looked as if he was about to protest, but eventually gave up, nodding silently. Jacob smiled and intertwined their fingers, the action comforting the younger. It'd hold him off for now. Everyone filed out of the dance practice room, heaving sighs of relief and calling dibs on the shower. Sunwoo walked in step with Jacob and Younghoon in the back. A small thought popped up into Sunwoo's head, stepping a bit closer to Jacob.

"Hyung..." Sunwoo started, Jacob turning to look at him. "What about Juyeon? What if he sees Younghoon y'know... regressed?"

"Then let him see," Younghoon's words surprised both of them. The younger didn't look up from the ground as they walked, but they could see the gears turning in his head

"Are you- Are you sure, Younghoon?" Jacob asked softly and Younghoon nodded without hesitation.

"He's my roommate. It'd be easier for him to find out than keep it a secret. I just... I'm scared that he'll think differently of me," Younghoon's voice got quieter at the end, tightening his hold on Jacob's hand as if the older would slip through his fingers.

"He won't Younghoon. I promise," Jacob spoke, squeezing Younghoon's hand. Younghoon only nodded muttering an 'I hope' to himself.

**⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅**

The ride back home was pretty quiet, other than the music blasting in Hyunjoon's headphones that filled in the silence. The car only held Younghoon, Jacob, and Sunwoo who were in the back row, and Hyunjoon and Changmin. Sunwoo really hoped that Changmin didn't hear anything from earlier. At least not yet. He could see the older glancing back at Younghoon every now and then but stayed silent.

Younghoon was drifting off again as Jacob held his hand to keep him grounded, humming softly to himself as he stared out the window. It was peaceful. That was until Younghoon sleepily pulled something out of his pocket and placed it in his mouth. He didn't know if Younghoon had dropped or not, but he looked more relaxed with the pacifier in his mouth and he didn't want to say anything. He panickingly thought of what to do. He seemed tense earlier and the pacifier was clearly helping. Sunwoo nibbled on his lip as he glanced at the two in the front, to Younghoon, and then to Jacob. The oldest must've felt Sunwoo's eyes darting around, turning to the younger.

"What's-? Oh."

His voice caught the attention of the two in the front, both turning around and pausing once they saw Younghoon peacefully sleeping with his blue pacifier in his mouth. 

"...I don't think we were supposed to see that," was the first thing that Changmin said. Jacob sighed and nodded.

"You weren't," Jacob couldn't help but smile a bit at how precious Younghoon looked while sleeping. He was just so adorable. Jacob looked back at the two, the small smile still on his face. "I guess we'll have to talk when he's... big again."

"Big again?" Hyunjoon asked, eyebrows furrowed.

"We'll explain in the morning," 

The rest of the ride was silent as Jacob thought over how to tell Younghoon. He knew that the younger was fine with Juyeon seeing, but he didn't want to push Younghoon's limits. He was still sensitive to this and Jacob didn't want to mess anything up. If they told everyone, how would they react? He knew some of the members would be fine with it, but he couldn't predict everything. He just didn't want Younghoon to get hurt.

"Younghoon-hyung is really cute," Changmin spoke softly making Jacob smile. This might be easier than he thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> > *sorry for any mistakes* i just wanted to post this as soon as possible lol
>> 
>> it feels short but quality over quantity right haha i hope you guys enjoyed <333 
>> 
>> comments and kudos are greatly appreciated 
>> 
>> ty for continuing to read <3

**Author's Note:**

> > i hope you all enjoyed this! let me know what you think; comments and kudos are very much appreciated <3
>> 
>> ty for reading (◕ヮ◕)*:･ﾟ✧
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> [my younghoon instagram](https://www.instagram.com/honeyounghoon/)  
> 


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